The Matrix and The Wiz. (Or The Wizard of Oz...that's fine, too, I guess...)
So, this hotshot 20-something writes of the fear of turning 20 in a 2006 WAPO article, right?
And I can't describe how appropriate the article was on my 20th birthday spent in the land of a billion snowflakes. It was very Britney Spears, y'know? Not a girl...not yet a woman...
Not really 20. More like twenteen.
And here I am, post college lamenting about the fear-of-adulthood en total--along with my friends who have also recently graduated from 4-year institutions.
The timing of all this really, couldn't be more depressing.
Besides the fact that I don't feel anywhere near capable of managing my own money, telling somebody else what to do (como mis hijos...oy ve...), feeling capable of getting anything done--like...why should people listen to me? In my own case, I'm all of 5'1 and appear to be about the same size as the average 13-year-old in Black America.
Let's be serious. I'm not fooling anybody whether I put bass in my voice or not. Whether I MAC it up or not. Whether I throw on heels or not. I still feel like I have the self-efficacy of a kindergartener!!!!
And now I have bills to pay? I know people who are...married?? I need a full-time job, and instead of waxing liberally and in poetic stanzas about economic recessions, I need to...find a FT job in said economic recession???
Homes. Homes. Demasiado.
And then, somebody said, "Let's watch The Wiz!"
And yours truly said, "Okay!" Because I love Black musicals, and I've never seen it, and that's, like, heretical to say in the right circles. So, I'm watching it with new eyes, as I consider my predicament: I'm a loser who's supposed to be a "grown woman" now and yet, feels no more capable or confident about the future and my ability to affect it than a gnat in winter--not summer. Not spring. Winter.
Guess what Dorothy does for a living? (Akha!)
And as the story goes, whether you watch that Kansas chick or Diana Ross, they each have this sense of fright about the outside world. Hence the reason there's no place like home. Why? Initially, because there's comfort there, and control of surroundings and circumstances (to a degree).
And then they'll come across the Scarecrow without a brain, who's actually quite genius.
Then the Tin-Man without a heart, who's really emotional.
And finally, the Lion without courage, who beats the subway's r-ass.
Then they come to The Wiz--Richard Pryor--who really can't give them anything they haven't discovered already within themselves.
Hm.
So now I've subjected myself to a Matrix marathon, because (1) I've never seen any of them. (2) It came about because I was at a pre-Thanksgiving broo-ha-ha, and the hosts were watching The Prisoner on a cable net. Because I don't get much tv viewing in as of the last several years, I was sort of rapt by how it was nothing like I expected. That's when they told me it was supposed to be sort of Matrix-like in nature. And then I decided I was intrigued enough to go figure out the connections and overlaps for myself. (YAY! A film sequel study!! I guess?)
I'm watching it, and Neo (Keanu Reeves) is told, upon his return to the 'real world', "Dorothy, you're not in Kansas anymore."
Get it Dorothy.
And how appropriate for such a (melo)dramatic time as this? Unplug me from the Matrix that I might discover my purpose again. PLEASE. Help me find peace, Jesus. Please. And empower every single one of us feeling less-than at a time where we can't afford to.
heehee Weird movie pairing, I know. Technicolor and your Philosophy professor's favorite sci-fi flick. But that's the cinematic epiphany I had these last two weeks.
