▌REVIEW ▌KARATE KID (2010)

"Karate Kid" (aka: "Kung Fu Kid")

Opens: June 11, 2010

Rating: PG

Director: Harald Zwart

Screenplay: Christopher Murphey, Robert Mark Kamen

Running Time: 140 min.

No empty hands here.

This is kung fu.

But there’s nothing soft about how Jaden Smith and company update the 1984 classic.

I hate to jump right into how the 2010 spin holds up, but alas, that’s what happens when you make a remake! The good news for Harald Zwart, however, is this isn’t your typical uninspired disappointment. (A recurring conundrum for HWD these days…)

This is a genuinely good movie.

Dre Parker (Jaden Smith) makes the move from Detroit to China when his mom (Taraji P. Henson) accepts a new job in the country. (How about that for true to life foreshadowing…) Where Daniel LaRusso (the 1984 ‘Kid’) was headed for a new high school, Dre is 12-years-old, headed for a new middle school complex that will forgive his nil Chinese.

As in the original, Dre can’t get to the first day without an altercation from the classroom punk, Cheng. But this poor child isn’t fighting on a beach in the sand. Instead, the flick earns every bit of its PG rating from the punches and body slams he takes to the concrete.

And yes.

It’s all because of a girl.

Mei Ying (Wenwen Han) is the 2010 Alli with an ‘I.” This girl is performing the function of the stereotypic overachiever—not beach babe in blue—when she and Dre meet. Instead of a boombox, it’s her sheet music that Dre bravely sets out to protect, setting Cheng (Zhenwei Wang) and his playground flunkies off.  Dre is further deserted by his would-have-been friends (his free throws prove a disappointment: “Yeah…my shooting arm still has some jetlag.”), and the fish out of water trope stands intact.

That scene rolls out just fine for this reviewer.

The irritation is how Dre met Mei Ying.

Sure Dan LaRusso had the Joizy-Jersey accent to fawn over and mimic, but here are the first words out of Mei Ying’s mouth: “(Giggle…giggle) Can I touch  your hair?”

You didn’t see anybody trying to hijack Dan’s accent, but wait! Maybe that’s because there’s no equivalent for fondling an accent!

Dre meets his Mr. Miyagi—who is actually Mr. Han, played by Jackie Chan—over a maintenance issue as well. Except, this time around, the hot water is fixed with a nice suggestive jab about the U.S. and the Kyoto Protocol. Mr. Han tells Dre that the shower is fine, the Parkers simply need to flip the switch.

“No switch in America?” When Dre says no, Mr. Han returns: “Get switch. Save planet.”

Zing!

Expect similar plot devices to unfold from this point in the film forward, but don’t expect them to come verbatim, and don’t expect them to be too cheesy, either.

Dre ultimately comes to fight in a major kung fu tournament as a compromise for dousing water on Cheng and his homeboys—and subsequently getting their rear ends owned by Mr. Han.

Chan brings his own flair to the fight, artfully and in classic Chan fashion, using each young whippersnapper to fight the others. Sorry, Mr. Miyagi. Your moves were cool. But I think the kids will get their cheer’s worth with Mr. Han.

Jackie Chan makes the Mr. Miyagi figure a much more austere characte. Perhaps, thanks to the change of times, or thanks to the performance, Chan and Taraji P. Henson don’t allow the aloof adult motif into their “Karate Kid.”

Where Dan could swear freely in front of Mr. Miyagi, Mr. Han won’t have it from Dre. He swiftly changes a beat “ass” to simply “beat up” at Mr. Han’s no-nonsense command. Likewise, Henson isn’t about to let her son get involved day in and day out with a teacher she doesn’t know too well.

As mom, Henson makes more than one appearance to Mr. Han’s house to check in on Dre’s instruction and to get to know Han outside of the tournament preparations.

When Dre leaves his jacket on the ground in Mr. Han’s courtyard, Henson brings the I’m-only-going-to-tell-you-once tone, going sweet to psycho the way only a mama could: “Dre—PICK UP YOUR JACKET!”

On the journey to the ultimate deus ex machina, we’re allowed much more time than in the 1984 original to see Dre’s preparation.

Some call the glowing shots of China fetishistic, but let’s not forget, this is a movie about kung fu, and the training shots of the original were pretty peace-inducing, too. The DP (Roger Pratt) ought dust off his shoulder for the breathtaking beauty he brings to the film.

Dre (Smith) masters tai chi, and returns the blessing of that lesson to Mr. Han where we expect it in the film. The soundtrack orchestration and cinematography build the needed tension when Dre and Mr. Han connect over the death of his wife and son—an emotional feat that is effortlessly conquered in shadow, in rain, and in the cleanest of dollies.

Here, may be the first time, that we see the full range of Chan’s acting prowess in a Hollywood film. Henson, Smith, and Chan clench every emotional moment. They will certainly grip your heart strings at each opportunity they’re awarded.

Ultimately, Mei Ying and Dre do develop their romance, despite a scripted Chinese apology Dre feels he must make to Mei Ying’s well-to-do parents. (Yeah…where was the reverse apology when your daughter was feeling all over this kid’s hair?! Okay…I’m done with that…for now...)

Be sure to be, at least, an ounce amazed by the healing and very literal heat you remember Mr. Miyagi to bring.

Kids in my preview theater cheered Dre on for the duration of the final tournament—and you just may find a smile or two for the parodied elements of instant replay throughout the closing scenes.

But critic or not—the only audience that matters is the kids.

And as far as I can tell, Jaden Smith and “Karate Kid” 2010 wins.