Michael Moore's Open Letter to POTUS: "Whaddaya got to lose? Hope?" (Dang.)

OR you could call this:

For-American-Citizens-Who've-Resorted-to-Morning-Beverages-When-the-Crips and Bloods-Dems-and- Republicans-Were-Enuf.

:::read more:::

I may not have told you this, but yeah. Once I realized I wanted to go steady with film, I wanted our relationship to look like Michael Moore and Spike Lee in drag. Basically, I thought it might be a most fitting thing to be a resident American jackass.

I love Michael Moore's antics and rage. I love Spike Lee's antics and rage, and I love his fluidity across genres. You can hate them, that's fine, but they are pretty effective when they're effective. ANYWHO! In true politrickin' fashion, Moore has penned this document to President Obama, who, might I say, is a likkle stressed out. Health care reform is looking crazy, he's effectively pissed some Black folks off following that interesting meeting with a few civil rights leaders a few weeks back (then there's that whole tiff between Sharpton and Smiley), and partisan politricks aside, Congress is tripping. Apparently, according to Moore, POTUS' Chief of Staff, Rahm (brother of Ari) Emanuel is tripping, too.

Here, I think, are the best shots of MM's letter:

"Each morning you and I will do 100 jumping jacks and you will repeat after me:

"THE AMERICAN PEOPLE ELECTED ME, NOT THE REPUBLICANS, TO RUN THE COUNTRY! I AM IN CHARGE! I WILL ORDER ALL OBSTRUCTIONISTS OUTTA MY WAY! IF THE AMERICAN PEOPLE DON'T LIKE WHAT I'M DOING THEY CAN THROW MY ASS OUT IN 2012. IN THE MEANTIME, I CALL THE SHOTS ON THEIR BEHALF! NOW, CONGRESS, DROP AND GIVE ME 50!!"

(...)We thought we were all done with this craziness, but we were mistaken. Like a beast that you just can't cage, the Republicans convinced not only the media, but YOU and your fellow Dems, that 59 votes was a *minority*! Precious time was lost trying to reach a "consensus" and trying to be "bipartisan."

Well, you and the Democrats have been in charge now for over a year and not one banking regulation has been reinstated. We don't have universal health care. The war in Afghanistan has escalated. And tens of thousands of Americans continue to lose their jobs and be thrown out of their homes. For most of us, it's just simply no longer good enough that Bush is gone. Woo hoo. Bush is gone. Yippee. That hasn't created one new friggin' job.

(...)Let me be clear about one thing: The Democrats on Election Day 2010 are going to get an ass-whoopin' of biblical proportions if things don't change right now. And after the new Republican majority takes over, they, along with a few conservative Democrats in Congress, will get to bipartisanly impeach you for being a socialist and a citizen of Kenya. How nice to see both sides of the aisle working together again! And the brief window we had to fix this country will be gone.

(...) I'm packed and ready to come to D.C. tomorrow. If it helps, you won't really be losing Rahm entirely because I'll be bringing his brother with me -- my agent, Ari Emanuel. Man, you should see HIM negotiate a deal! Have you ever wanted to see Mitch McConnell walking around Capitol Hill carrying his own head in his hands after it's just been handed to him by the infamous Ari? Oh, baby, it won't be pretty -- but boy will it be sweet!

What say you, Barack? Me and you against the world! Yes we can! It'll be fun -- and we may just get something done. Whaddaya got to lose? Hope?"

Read the full letter at Michael Moore's site.